


Jack Savage: Puzzle Agent

by AgentClank



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: F/M, Occupations, Thematic Thursday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 12:02:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13546929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentClank/pseuds/AgentClank
Summary: Jack and J̶i̶l̶l̶ Skye go on a date and talk about their jobs.For /ztg/ Thematic Thursdays: Species Specific Occupations (?)





	Jack Savage: Puzzle Agent

The bells on a restaurant's door chime. A small, gray bunny with long ears and tiger stripes steps in, dressed in a black suit and red tie, with stylized cufflinks. He has an aura around him, his posture and demeanor confident and unflinching, but a keen eye might spot that it's merely a facade that's been trained into him: if you could read his mind, you'd find that he's actually a little nervous, given the situation he's going into. Nonetheless, he straightens his tie and steps up to the concierge.  
  
"Good afternoon, sir."  
  
"Table for two, under Ms. Walker?"  
  
"Ah, yes, she's already here. Here, Tony will take care of you," he waves, as a badger approaches them.  
  
"Right this way, sir," the waiter nods, gesturing to his left and walking into the restaurant proper. Jack obliges and follows him.  
  
The restaurant he's in is fairly fancy: a bit on the high end, though not quite six-figure-salary-only. Waiters seem to glide from table to table, carefully dressed in fine threads with bowties and mustaches and cloths wrapped around their arms, bringing in dishes and taking orders without missing a beat. Two antelopes are managing the bar, serving up chilled wines and mixed drinks, while a capybara in a suit manages a complaint from a couple near him. The entire place runs in warm, yellow lights, with easy listening in the background together with a light drone of people talking. The usual patrons here are businessmammals, but today, for him, he has a date.  
  
The maître d' leads Jack to a four person booth with a white Arctic fox in it.  
  
"Your table, sir," he gestures, as Jack's ears perk up.  
  
"Well hi there."  
  
"Hello!"  
  
"Can I start you two off with anything? Wine, perhaps?" the beaver offers, handing them their menus.  
  
"Just water, I think."  
  
"Yes, water sounds good."  
  
"Coming right up," he says, bowing to them as he steps away.  
  
Jack turns around and looks at Skye. She's dressed in what is practically the definition of smart casual: a white dress shirt for her top, a cashmere scarf loosely wrapped around her neck, flared jeans that were tight, obscured by a comfortable twill jacket, and a pair of generic Converse. Quite different from what she was normally in when he saw her. He runs his hand over his ears, combing them back, and smiles.  
  
"So, how are you?" he asks, leaning back into his seat.  
  
"Doing great," she nods, returning the smile.  
  
Jack scratches the back of his head, and Skye notices his feet shuffling under the table. The combination of awkward pauses in their introductory conversation and this fidgeting tells her that he's got nerves about this. No matter. She'll just carry the conversations for a bit.  
  
"So! First time out. Well, maybe second."  
  
====  
  
"Alright, French onion soup and a strawberry salad. Fine choice, sir," the bobcat nods, tapping down their order on his tablet. "And for you, madam?"  
  
"Hmm, I think... yes, I'll have the grilled halibut."  
  
"Very good. I'll be right back with some bread."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
The two mammals turn to each other as their waiter takes off. Jack sits back, twiddling his thumbs a little, as Skye places her arms on the table, resting her chin on her paw.  
  
"So, tell me about you. Where do you work?"  
  
"Me? Well, I'm with the FBI."  
  
"Ooh, interesting," she says, leaning forward. "Tell me about that. Good gig? Interesting work? Sweet bonuses?"  
  
"Yeah. It's pretty good. Lots of fun."  
  
"Get sent to a lot of exotic places?"  
  
"Some, but not as many as I'd like."  
  
"Ever get caught by enemy agents?"  
  
"Caught?"  
  
"You know. Eavesdropping on foreign dignitaries or stealing technology."  
  
Jack blinked a couple times before understanding what Skye was getting at.  
  
"Oh, no no, common misconception. The FBI is actually law enforcement for the most part. We're not a spy agency or anything. More like a federal ZPD. You're thinking of the ZIA. I suppose we _are_ somewhat related, but nonetheless."  
  
"Huh. Alright. I guess you just seem the type," Skye nods.  
  
"What, you think I'm a government spy? Do I look sneaky or something?" he smirks.  
  
"I'm sure you're a perfect gentleman," she replies, taking a sip from her glass.  
  
"That's more like a fox's job."  
  
"Wow, rude," she chuckles a little.  
  
"So. Law enforcement. What office?" she queries.  
  
"Puzzle Division."  
  
"Puzzle Division?" Skye tilts her head, quizzically.  
  
"Yeah. We operate under the Department of Puzzle Research."  
  
Skye looked at him blankly.  
  
"Why do you look so nonplussed? Never heard of it before?"  
  
"Well," Skye said, smiling awkwardly and scratching her head, "No. I'm having trouble picturing what that entails, frankly."  
  
"Oh, we solve puzzles."  
  
"You solve puzzles."  
  
"Yep."  
  
She blinked several times.  
  
"Like what, jigsaw puzzles?"  
  
"No! Well, yes, but that's in my free time."  
  
"Care to elaborate?"  
  
"Oh, yeah." He leans forward, resting his chin on his hands. "So this is generally not known to most people when they think of the FBI, but most of the work that we do is actually regarding white collar crime. We mostly deal with book cooking, insider trading, basic corruption, that sort of thing."  
  
"Right, of course," she responds, sipping her wine.  
  
"Because of that, the most important skill to us is accounting. We need to figure out what's missing that wasn't before, and what's there now that shouldn't be. Where did it go? Where did it come from? Who was around, and where have they been? To us, observation and reasoning are key. There's a lot of incest in the departments too when it comes to skills we need, and the Puzzle Division is just where we're specialized in solving problems."  
  
"Okay, but what kind of work does the Puzzle Division actually do?"  
  
"Solve puzzles!" Jack replies.  
  
She rolls her eyes, placing her paws on the table and resting her head on them.  
  
"What? You think I'm messing with you or something?"  
  
"Honestly?" she says to him. He looks at her, taking periodic sips from his glass. People are coming and going in the background, and the chatter is starting to pick up. Jack starts buttering a bun and takes a bite out of it, savoring the taste as the two of them stare at each other for a second. A warm flourish comes in from the kitchen, and as Skye takes another sip of her wine, she ponders if he's making an obvious joke that she's missing, before continuing on.  
  
"Well then," she says. "give me an example of a job you've had recently."  
  
He peers over, puts his bread down, and leans forward.  
  
========  
  
I was in the lobby of a big old skyscraper, the main office building of Lemming Bros. The place was actually just as you'd imagine it: big mammals going around in suits, talking on their cellphones, arguing with each other as they walked in and out of the buildings. Architecturally it was pretty, though. Nicely designed columns, warm lighting, shag carpeting, the works. Putting on a smile, I nodded to the guard as I flashed my visitor's pass. He took one look at me, grunted and nodded, adjusting his hat before waving me in.  
  
I stepped through the turnstile and walked up to the elevators, recalling as many details as I could about this case.  
  
Bronson Bradley: son of a wealthy magnate, one of the higher ups at the company, member of the board, and the guy in charge of corporate expansion: new markets and territories, as it were. We didn't have much on his background save that he'd arrived at Lemmings a couple years back, having gotten the job mostly through his father's connections. We didn't have much in him outside of that, as he was pretty much off the radar and didn't seem to have been doing anything, so we were attempting to fill in the gaps when one of our other departments noticed some... discrepancies.  
  
The elevator dinged, and I stepped out. Well decorated corridors and fine looking offices blared in my face. Secretaries rushed along to get papers to their charge. Something like half the mammals there were on their computers, attempting to sort out deals or gather numbers. In one room I recall a large meeting where a deer and his sheep colleague were arguing with a mouse on a table. In another there was a gerbil, giving a presentation with a projector and a laser pointer. Everyone there worked in things: numbers and abstractions that would seem to have no tangible effect on the world, but which nonetheless do.  
  
I walked up to his assistant, a nice tiger lady.  
  
"Hello, Ms. Parker," I greeted, eyeing her name tag.  
  
"Howdy. What can I do for you?"  
  
"I'm here to talk to Mr. Lee. We arranged a meeting on the phone this morning?"  
  
"Oh yes, of course. Mr. Rabitowitz, right? Please, follow me," she said, getting up and motioning me down a hallway. I straightened my tie and followed her.  
  
"Unfortunately, he won't be available for another hour or so," she said as she led me down the corridor. "I'm sorry about this inconvenience, and I hope you understand. It's just the nature of these inspections don't give us much time to reschedule anything."  
  
"No, it's alright," I reply. "It's just how it is."  
  
"Well, thank you so much. I hope everything goes well." She led me into a waiting room with comfy chairs, a drinks and snacks bar, and a large flat screen TV. "Help yourself to anything in here. If you need anything else, let me know."  
  
"Thank you again," I nodded. She exited the room. I walked up to the bar and hopped up onto the counter, sticking a cup under the spout of the coffee machine and activating it. The television was spouting out something in the background as I helped myself to a generous portion of chewing gum. Stuffing the loot into my pocket, I hopped off and walked up to the book rack in the corner, casually examining what was available.  
  
A minute after, my coffee was done. I hopped back to it and grabbed the cup, taking a sip as I peered outside the door. A rhinoceros in a suit walked by, busy with his phone, but no sign of Ms. Parker.  
  
Great.  
  
I dumped most of the coffee into the sink and rinsed it down, leaving a small amount of water in the cup which I put on the counter. Stepping out into the hallway, I took out my own phone and followed the rhino in step, as he headed down the corridor. He turned and entered his office, ignoring me (the Bluetooth headset he was wearing helped), and I continued on, branching off to the left.  
  
========  
  
"So you _are_ a spy."  
  
"What?" Jack asks. "Well no, not really."  
  
"Skulking around where you're not supposed to be, pretending to be someone else, fooling others into thinking you have legitimate business..." she lists, waving her paw in a circular motion.  
  
"I'm an investigator!"  
  
"Hmm," she nods, taking a sip again.  
  
"Sir, madam."  
  
They turn around to see their waiter with their dishes.  
  
"Oh great, food! I'm starving," Skye says, as the bandicoot serves them their food.  
  
He nods. "Let me know if you require anything else," he says, and walks off as Skye digs into her fish.  
  
Jack takes a strawberry and puts it in his mouth, sucking it down whole. "Anyway, where was I?"  
  
========  
  
I stepped around the corner, peering at every door until I stumbled upon what I was looking for. Mr. Bradley's office. Gold plaque next to a translucent-windowed door. Checking both ends of the hallway for any passerbys, I fumbled out my lockpick kit as I grasped the handle, only to turn the knob and find out it wasn't locked. 'Well, thanks for making it easy,' I thought, as I pushed it open and peered inside.  
  
I stepped in and closed the door behind me. Inside was a beautifully decorated office: hardwood desk with a big cushy chair, a couch next to a faux fireplace with a display monitor showing a video of a fire. Pool cues on the wall above it, next to pictures of him and some people I'm sure are important. Glass cases with shiny gold outlines, holding books I'm sure he hadn't read. A chandelier lighting up the room. All very opulent. I'd kill for an office like this.  
  
Metaphorically speaking, of course.  
  
"Alright, Bronson. Let's see what you got for me."  
  
I recalled the password that I was supposed to use to get in as I woke up the computer. Imagine my surprise when there was a box puzzle instead of a password screen.  
  
"Use these boxes on these tiles so that only one of each dot is in each box... what?" I muttered to myself, before a flash of recollection jolted me out of my daze.  
  
Of course. Bronson Brady, puzzle enthusiast. It was all over his profile. The upstart millionaire was a big puzzle enthusiast, and was quite public about it too. There was that one article on Boartune magazine, and that piece on him in Puzzle Enthusiast.  
  
Stupid thing to bring into your work.  
  
"I guess today's my lucky day," I smiled as I opened a piece of gum. It was quite a piece of work: a 3D box puzzle in which I had to shift vector lines. Must have been custom made for him...  
  
========  
  
Jack stops as he notices Skye giving him the stink eye.  
  
"What?"  
  
She continues staring at him, leaning over the table with her arms on top of it. She scrunches up her nose, and raises an eyebrow before giving a hearty chuckle.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Oh nothing," she snickers. "It's just I was told by someone that you're a bit of a joker"  
  
"Really? Who was it?"  
  
"Not telling," she replies, tongue sticking out.  
  
"Someone I know?" Jack states. "I assure you, my work is no laughing matter."  
  
"Mm hmm," she mumbles, taking a sip.  
  
"I'm serious!"  
  
"Well," she says, putting her glass down, "go ahead. Carry on."  
  
========  
  
...  
  
A few minutes later the puzzle was solved and the computer opened up to me. There wasn't even a failure state on it: very clumsy security. Honestly, part of me was worried that this was some sort of trap, given how easy it was.  
  
"Alrighty," I murmured, as I started pulling up various programs. I stuck a pen drive into the computer and copied what I was looking for.  
  
As I did that, I skimmed through some of his communications. Most of it was pretty humdrum, even after (as I suspected) his assistant cleared out what was and wasn't important for him, although a note about some phone orders did catch my eye: who orders three of the same phone?  
  
My ears perked up as I heard someone outside. Maybe 50-60 feet away. I quickly shut down everything I'd messed with, all the while peering up, watching the door, and just after I locked the computer and jumped off the chair there was a figure in the window. Thinking quickly, I slid to the left side of the desk, and, obscured by it, flipped open the cabinet and jammed myself into it.  
  
========  
  
"Ah yes, the ever important drawer inspection," she giggles.  
  
Jack smiles, before raising his finger and opening his mouth. "Listen here you little shit" he begins, smiling as a bison walks up to them. The joke had been going on for a little too long.  
  
"Allow me to clear that, madam," he offers.  
  
"Oh, thank you!"  
  
"Would you like anything else? Dessert? Coffee perhaps?"  
  
"Sounds good. Bring us a menu," she replies.  
  
"Coming right up," he says. The crowd in the restaurant has not died down: in fact, it's gotten busier as he slides away with their empty plates. Jack's noticed a few new waiters who weren't here before: possibly called in just because of this. They too seem to have their hands full. On top of that, there's now a line outside waiting for tables, and even the bar is full.  
  
"Good call on getting here early," he says to Skye.  
  
"Thanks," she replies, as the beaver hands them their dessert menus.  
  
"So," Skye says, twiddling her fingers, "any part of what you just told me true?"  
  
"Hmm, maybe... fifty percent?"  
  
"Sweet."  
  
"Yeah," he nods. "I do work for the government, and I do sometimes engage in some rather... cloak and dagger sort of activities."  
  
"Huh."  
  
"A lot of which I can't really go into detail about, you understand. But a lot of it is pretty exciting."  
  
"I see."  
  
"Anyway, enough of that bullshit. How about you? How did you get to be a mechanic? That's usually more of a bunny thing."  
  
"Serious?"  
  
"Demographically second place, after beavers," he says. "I've done some reading. Surprising?"  
  
Skye pauses for a moment, lost in thought.  
  
"Hmm," she contemplates, "a couple of things make sense now."  
  
"Ahah," Jack chuckles, flipping through the menu. "So?"  
  
"Oh, it's all a little humdrum, really," she said, sipping her drink. "I was always into the back end of things as a kid. Electronics, mechanics, woodworking. Just one of the girls who wasn't particularly girly. My parents weren't around much, so I'm told maybe that had something to do with it? It's a little cliche, I suppose," she continues, flagging down their waiter again. "Daddy works a long day. And mommy wasn't far behind."  
  
"Oh?" Jack says, ears perking up slightly.  
  
"Yeah. It wasn't through any fault of theirs. Anyway, I got to know my caretaker quite well, and he was real big into cars. Used to bring new ones every now and then over when he came to take care of me, and I suppose that's where my interest came from. He was just such a sweetheart. Truth be told, I think I had a crush on him for a while."  
  
"Didn't chase that tail?"  
  
"Dude, he was like thirty," she laughs, as their waiter returned with dessert menus.  
  
"And you just sort of fell into it from there?"  
  
"Yep," she replies, as their bear comes by. She points out a coffee to him, before he shuffles over to Jack who orders a slice of lemon meringue. Satisfied, they hand over their menus before Skye continues: "It actually took me quite a while before I started getting into it. It wasn't one of those instantly-fall-in-love-with-it type deals."  
  
"Sounds like a hoot."  
  
"Didn't really know what I wanted come time for me to head off to college, blah blah blah. My parents were typical old money: wanted me to go into law or medicine, just one of those professions that are stereotypically high paying and respectable. I did pre for a while, wanting to make them happy, but it became clear to them after a while that _-I-_ wasn't."  
  
"What happened? They get to see your grades or something?"  
  
"Yeah, they saw I aced everything thrown at me regardless," she smirks, rolling the ice around in her glass. "Daddy just picked up how absolutely dejected I was when he called. Told me to do something else because it wasn't working out, so I switched to physics and aeronautics."  
  
"Wow."  
  
"Yep. I was kinda the odd one out in my class. Could tell you about that," she says, putting her glass down. It was starting to get a little noisy now. "Actually, do you want to get out of here first?"  
  
Jack's ears perk up again. "Actually yeah, let's." He waves down their waiter, making a gesture to cancel their order and asking for the check.  
  
"Seriously, where did all these gerbils and lemmings come from?" she wonders aloud, taking note of the restaurant's patrons.  
  
"Phff, don't worry about it," Jack says. "Bank opens for lunch a little late."  
  
====  
  
They step out into the street, now busier than before they came in.  
  
"So, where t-" Jack begins, as his phone rings. "Hold that thought..." he says, as he answers. He puts it to his ear for about ten seconds before nodding. "Alright," he responds, cutting the call and putting it away. "Seriously?" he mumbles.  
  


"Sorry, I have to go," he sighs, dejectedly.  
  
"Darn," Skye replies. "Guess that means we'll have to pick it up another time?" she says, sticking her tongue out.  
  
"Hell yeah," Jack's ears perk up.  
  
"Gimme a call, then," she winks, ruffling the fur on his head and giving him a peck on the cheek.  
  
"R-right," he smiles awkwardly. "See you then."  
  
She grins back at him, before turning around and disappearing into the crowd.

**Author's Note:**

> So I replayed Puzzle Agent a few months back, and I've had this idea for a series where Jack is a puzzle agent who goes around various different locales in Zootopia and solves strange cases, where the specific characteristics of the types of mammals involved would have pertinence (and occasionally be red herring). It would be somewhat in the PI AU (except, you know, not private), and employ the kind of semi surrealist, less-than-logical silliness that was in the game. 
> 
> I attempted to write some stuff to that effect, and while I like what I was coming up with, I did notice a couple of roadblocks fairly quickly. First, the "puzzles" don't translate quite right, and don't work as well as they do in videogame format (or more likely, I'm not talented enough to do it). They ended up being more like general detective stories as a result, which I can just write by themselves. 
> 
> Secondly, it takes a lot of work to come up with a case and make it fun, and I don't currently have a lot of time to dedicate to it, even discounting the fact that I'd probably rather work on my other fic "Point of View," which I'm already not. 
> 
> Having done all that, species specific occupations won Thematic Thursday, and I noted that Jack and Skye's typically portrayed occupations, spy and mechanic respectively, would stereotypically be attributed to the other's species: which is to say, the sly, sneaky fox being suited to covert ops and the hick bunny being an auto mechanic. So I pumped out this piece where they discuss what they do in the context of a first date. It's fairly unpolished, but hopefully it was worth the read.


End file.
